Bloggin' Again

Whew .... summer is over. The kids are back at school. And now I'm hoping to do a little more bloggin'. For the first time ever, all three of my children are in school full-time. That means, once I leave my job in the morning, I've got hours to myself until they get home. Yeah! :)

But what does this mean for me? Does it mean I now have no excuse when everyone comes home at the end of the day and the laundry is still not folded and put away. (I do NOT enjoy housework AT ALL and will not do it unless I am forced to or am having company). Does it mean I should make a well-balanced meal every night because I now have the time. Nah!

Like many moms in my predicament, I'm searching for the next BIG thing in my life. I want to grow and learn and see what else I can do to challenge myself. I've had this conversation with many of my friends who are experiencing similiar feelings. I'll still be there for the kids/husband when they get home. I will still shuttle the kids from activity to activity and help them with homework. But I also know there's something more for me to do. Is it write a book? Start a website? Volunteer? Go back to school? I'm not sure what it is. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

What I Learned From "The Politeness Challenge"

My experiment is over. I took on "The Politeness Challenge'' for one week and and here's what I observed and learned :

1) Most people are polite.

2) Some people are rude and there's nothing you can do about it. Ignore it and move on.

3) People are not out to get me, or you. That driver who cut you off is not trying to ruin your day or get in your way or make you angry. Maybe he/she made a mistake or is truly a bad driver. Anger won't help. Let it go.

4) Smile at someone and they'll usually smile back.

5) I am polite most of the time. And while this project didn't change my life, it did make me think about how my attitude, demeanor and mood effects others.

Have a wonderful day!

Day Two : The Politeness Challenge

Day Two of "The Politeness Challenge" was, well, a little more challenging.

1) The cashier at the grocery store seemed annoyed that I plopped my full-food basket on the conveyor belt instead of emptying it out. I started to feel annoyed that she was annoyed at my innocent mistake. I took a deep breath, put a BIG smile on my face and, instead of saying a simple "hello," I looked her in the eye and asked how her day was going. She gave me a big smile back. She wasn't annoyed, after all. It was all my imagination. (Or she faked it) :)

2) I almost lost it with the customer service rep I was dealing with on the phone. I have an upcoming camping trip planned and was confused about something on my reservation so I called the help line to get it figured out. Immediately she was rude and condescending. Jeez. I just needed a little help, please. She kept insisting the info I needed was on the confirmation sheet, but I was looking right at it and it clearly wasn't. I have to admit I was on the edge, ready to go off, but I talked myself back .. most of the way. I did keep a little edge to my voice and probably could've been a little less reactive. It also could've turned into an ugly confrontation, which it didn't, thanks to "The Politeness Challenge." Oh yeah. At the end of the call I even said "thank you." :)

Today is a new day. We'll see how it goes. How are you doing? I'd love to hear. E-mail me at nancyflagg@933thedrive.com or check us out on Facebook (93.3 The Drive)

The Politeness Challenge : Day One

For one week, I'm going to be extra nice to everyone I meet even if they're rude or I'm in hurry and annoyed, I'll just put a smile on my face, finish my business with that person and be gone. And hopefully, I'll feel good about my behavior. It's all part of "The Politeness Challenge" that I'm asking everyone to try. Here's how the first day went :

1) I was super nice to the frazzled lady at the library and was rewarded with a slight smile instead of her usual frown.

2) I was empathatic and not impatient with my husband after a BIG accounting problem that wasn't ALL his fault. I felt badly for him so I showed my support for him instead of getting mad about the situation.

3) Instead of losing my temper with my 8-year-old daughter because she was taking FOREVER to get in the car so we could go to an appointment, I held my tongue and waited patiently. Nobody cried. That's all good. :)

How are you doing? I'd love to hear from you. Please share. You can e-mail me at nancyflagg@933thedrive.com.

The Politeness Challenge

Have you ever been so stressed out that you're rude to the cashier at the grocery store? Or road rage takes over because some guy in a sports car nearly cuts you off? Or you find yourself telling off a telemarketer who calls every night at dinner time? If you've said yes to any of these questions than I have a challenge for you.

It's called "The Politeness Challenge" and comes from an article I recently read in Ladies Home Journal. Author Holly Robinson vowed to spend a week being nice to everyone she met no matter what. This means she had to smile even when others were being rude. She had to show empathy and patience even when she was inconvienced. And she had to apprecate the unappreciated. I loved the article and how it made her feel.

Read the full story and then commit to "The Politeness Challenge." One week. No rants. No road rage. Sweet smiles. Kind words. Let's see what it does for us.

Are you ready? Yes.

Here's the link. Check it out and embark on this life-changing project. Please let me know how it goes. Happy day.

Are You Stuck In A Dead End Job?

If you're feeling bored and frustrated with your current job, you may want to check out this article titled, "Going Nowhere Fast." Generally, I think we all feel a little of that some of the time but if it's an overwhelming feeling that won't go away, then you may need to make a BIG move. Author Suzy Welch gives sensible, realistic advice that could get you back on track and motivate you to look for new opportunities.

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Stuck-in-a-Career-Rut-How-to-Get-Ahead-at-Work

Romantic Restaurants in Peoria

My secret ambition one day is to write a fiction novel. I have high hopes I'll make it happen but until then I'm just trying to write every day. That's what professional writers say you have to do to succeed. So I've started writing online articles for a website. Check out my very first "published" article online. It may even help you find a romantic restaurant in Peoria.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2925758/find_a_romantic_restaurant_in_peoria.html?cat=22

I Should Get Out Of Town More Often.

For the past several days, I've been on my own, visiting my aunt in Maine and saying a final goodbye to my uncle, who recently passed away. It was a rather short trip but I always get a little apprehensive when I leave Bruce and the kids. What can I say, I'm a worrier. I worry about traveling by plane. I worry about the kids playing outside where cars speed down the street like it's a drag race. We also had to work out logistics as to where the kids would go after-school while Bruce was still at work. I'll also admit that I'm a bit of a control freak so leaving it all behind and letting go of the control can be a problem. Don't get me wrong. I know Bruce, my husband, can take care of everything but it's still a little unnerving.

Well ... let .. me .. tell .. you ....

I SHOULD GET OUT OF TOWN, BY MYSELF, MORE OFTEN.

Bruce kicked it into high gear. On Friday, he took the kids to see the Harlem Globetrotters at the Peoria Civic Center. On Saturday, he drove Lucas to a morning school event, mowed the lawn, then went to a rocket launch for our daughter's Girl Scout Troop. He took the kids to a movie and finished off the night visiting with our neighbors. On Sunday, he planned a hike and picnic with the kids and even rememebered to make sure Lucas finished his water-cycle project for school.

Then, today, I walk into the house and I was AMAZED. I'll admit that I expected clutter, dirty laundry, etc .

Nope.

The kitchen was spotless, laundry was folded on the table, the carpets were vacuumed and our bed was even made. I was astonished. I'm not saying that Bruce doesn't do these things while I'm here but ... well ... ya know ... he doesn't.(By the way, Bruce may not agree with that statement.)

Bruce even told me how much he and the kids missed me. I appreciated the gesture but I don't really believe it. They were too busy with all the fun activities and did just fine without me.

The very best thing on my first day back, so far, is the HUGE hug I got from my six-year-old son Logan when he walked into the house from school. My husband came home too .. just minutes ago. No hug yet from him. He's making himself a sandwich. :)

There's A New Rule In This House .....

"THERE'S A NEW RULE IN THIS HOUSE," I found myself saying (okay, yelling) last night. " YOUR FATHER AND I WILL MAKE ONE DINNER AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T EAT IT. I'M NOT MAKING THREE DIFFERENT MEALS EVERY NIGHT!!!"

I know I'm not alone when I say it frustrates me to no end when my kids won't eat what I make for dinner. Parents for years have dealt with this dilemma. It's how we react to this annoyance that sets us apart. I could yell and get angry and put them in their rooms OR I could calmly tell them that sometimes we don't get choices in life and we have to live with our decisions. i.e. Not eating now = being hungry at bedtime.

This latest outburst came about after my daughter said she didn't want soup for dinner. Who doesn't like tomato soup? Okay, my 8-year old daughter and six-year old son don't like tomato soup. But I also offered to make chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. It was then, after I pleaded with my daughter to make a decision that I felt foolish. "What was I doing," I said to myself. "This is crazy," I told her. "Soup is what's for dinner. Take it or leave it."

She left it.

As a child, I remember my mother making ONE meal every night. There were never any options. Even when she opened a can of salmon (It's like tuna in a can), mixed it with mayo and slopped a spoonful on my plate I ate it. It wasn't my favorite, although it always came with baked frozen french fries (yum) and peas (gross).

Don't get me wrong, like anyone else, I always had my favorites and looked forward to spaghetti and taco nights. But I don't remember complaining. I just remember eating. My mother might remember differently but for the sake of this story I was a perfect child who always ate what I was supposed to. :)

I realize this little tirade is laced with a bit of anger. But every night, it's a different child .. so I'm laying down the law. In the future, I won't react in an angry manner. I'll just look at whichever beautiful child is scrunching up their face and pushing away their plate and say sweetly, "Sorry. I can't help you. Remember, there's a new rule in this house ... "

A First For Everything ...

I experienced something for the first time last night. My first car accident. I was taking my six-year old son, Logan, to basketball and driving along Willow Knolls in Peoria. As I crossed the intersection at Allen Road someone in a BIG SUV turned into my little Honda Civic. It was a young kid, maybe he was 16 or 17. The SUV smashed into the side of the car, shattering the driver's side window. Fortunately, we were not injured. My six-year old son was in the back playing with a video game and didn't see it coming. I did, though, and that was one of the scariest moments.

I consider myself to be a defensive driver, always checking intersections to make sure cars are stopped at the red lights. I saw the guy sitting there waiting to turn. Then , as I made my way through the intersection, he just turned and I knew he was going to hit me and I knew I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't stop it from happening and that was frightening. The first thing that went through my mind was "Oh my God, I don't know what's going to happen here. Oh my God, Logan could get hurt. Oh my God, I could be really hurt" The kid wasn't going very fast because he was turning but "what if?" Of course, all the "what ifs" started going through my head later on when I returned home safely. I saw Logan's little blue blanket on my bed and I started to tear up, thinking about how the night could've gone had this guy been going faster. I know you can't live like that but I couldn't help it. Anyway, it was a frightening experience.

I could go on about how this made me realize I need to appreciate every moment I have with the people I love, but I already do that. Have a safe day!

Less ... Is More in 2010

I have too much stuff.

Too many clothes are in my closet (I haven't worn many of them in a year). Too many pairs of workout shoes sit on the rack (My husband tries to throw them out when I'm not looking). Too many papers clutter my desk at home. (I can't even sit down and work.) Too many small, plastic toys fill our closets and cover our basement floor. (You know what I'm talking about.)

Clutter will be the end of me.

I've got so much crap I'm at the point where it's stressing me out .. everyday.

And I know I'm not alone. Many of you reading this are saying to yourselves, "Argh .. it's so frustrating." Nearly everyone, at some point in their lives, has this problem. The question is how can we get rid of all the stuff.

I do try. Everyday I go into my office and throw away papers, move things around, and put items in drawers that are already full. I preach to the children that every one of their belongings should have a "home." I invest in advice that tells me to declutter one room at a time for five minutes. I watch expert organizer Peter Walsh on Oprah so he can advise me to get rid of an old item every time I buy a new one. I even got on flylady.com. I especially like this one. She told me to take a garbage bag, walk through the house and throw away 27 items. I don't know where the number 27 came from but I'm willing to try. After I do that, I'm supposed to take another bag and fill it with 27 items I want to donate.

Okay.

I'll do that today.

I'm also making other strides. I'm not renewing any of my magazine subsciptions. I, at one point, was getting 10 magazines a month (yeah, it got a little out of hand). I don't have time to read them all right away so they just sit there collecting dust. i.e. LOTS OF CLUTTER!

It's a start. So I'm hoping that once I create order in my office and in my home than I can create more order in my life. I'll let ya know how it goes.